What did I say? I said don’t be clever.
what if one night they were having a huge fight and John accidentally shouted at Sherlock “I wish you were still dead!”
John is shaking with rage. Sherlock’s gone too far this time. Pushing him all day, needling and belittling him in front of everyone. This case has emotionally and physically exhausted him, running defense against fists and bullets and insults. He’s slumped into himself frowning out at London the entire ride home.
They’ve barely entered the flat when Sherlock sneers at him and starts again. Tells him for the fifth time to mind his own business. Calls him useless. And John’s mind is echoing the sentiment. You useless shell of a man. He doesn’t need you. And before he can rein them in, the words are between them solid and hateful and disgusting. ”Some days, Sherlock… I wish you were still dead.”
The look he gets breaks him.
Sherlock’s face grows impossibly more pale than it has ever been. The sting of an invisible slap writ large in his pained expression. He drops his eyes and whispers. Just two words. ”Me too.”
John is across the room before the first tear makes its way down his cheek. Reaching up to wipe it away and pull Sherlock into him. Cradling the taller man in an awkward but necessary embrace. ”No.”
Sherlock falls to his knees, head cradled into John’s waist, struggling to regain composure. “Yes,” he snuffles, talking to the leather belt grazing his damp cheek.
"Sherlock, no, I don’t mean it. I take it back. Everything. God, I am so stupid." John slips to his knees, pulling them both eye level.
"Irrelevant," Sherlock looks away. Eyes locked on the carpet, flushing in shame. "You’re always stupid."
"Sherlock, I’m serious, look at me," John slips a gentle finger beneath Sherlock’s chin, nudging his gaze until both sets of red rimmed eyes find one another and John finds his brightest smile, displaying the offering in genuine apology. "I am glad you’re alive. Even if you hate me and tell me every day how worthless I am. Even if you ask me to move out. Even if you decide you never want to speak to me again, I am grateful to have to you back."
Sherlock looks away. Wincing at Johns words. Nauseous with the thought of his doctor moving out and leaving him. ”You’re not worthless,” he mumbles. ”I shouldn’t have yelled.”
"No, it doesn’t matter. You always yell but that’s no excuse. Please, forgive me the stupid things I’ve said in anger?"
"If you’ll forgive me the stupid things I’ve said to make you so angry."
that fucking drink john pours himself in asib when he wants to talk to sherlock about feelings, like, that’s the hugest drink in the history of drinks
*season 10. john and sherlock have been married for five years and live in sussex with their bees*
sherlock: but do you like like me
as soon as john is asleep, sherlock’s wimpy tentacle emerges from the blankets and reaches over to john’s bedside table and turns off john’s morning alarm so that john will oversleep and stay snuggled in bed
john is late for work three times before he figures out what’s going on and moves his alarm clock across the room
wt finds other ways to keep john in bed longer. Unplugging the alarm while John’s brushing his teeth. Tucking the duvet around him extra tight so that John’s arms are stuck and he can’t resist the cuddle monster. Hiding the doctor’s keys or shoes or phone beneath the pillow so John can be swiftly tackled and pulled back in.
You know my methods, John.
I’m known to be
i n d e s t r u c t i b l e
While You Were Sleeping
If I don’t tell you
If I keep it inside
Is it still love?
The actual worst choice anyone could ask me to make regarding the show…the actual nightmare scenario would be if someone asked me to choose: either they are canonically and textually in love but it ends horribly and they are separated OR they end up together happy as they can be and safe but everything is ambiguous and never acknowledged?
Frankly I’d rather…..this is the single most reprehensible choice anyone could ask of me…..i couldn’t……..
That jaw clench…hngggggggggggg
John BAMF Watson….
And then he’s this
It’s like a dream…